A Chat with Junior

Junior: Hey there, Brooke.  It’s Junior.

Brooke: From the book Everything Matters?  Weird.

J: Yes, I know, but there is an urgent matter we must discuss, or else I would not be messing with your mind by leaving a fictional story to speak to you.

B: Okay, sounds fair.

J: I need to ask you some important questions about your experiences in AP English 11.

B: Really?  Why, Junior?

J: This may sound extreme, but something may have happened in that class that will change the course of history forever, and, if this happened, I must figure out a way to fix it.

B: Okay, Junior, this sounds a little wild, but whatever you say…

J: “‘Listen to me, please.  I’m not crazy.  This is real’” (90).

B: Wow, alight, what do you want to know?

J: Well, how was it different from other classes you’ve take?  That difference could be key!

B: Hmm… it was a different kind of atmosphere and much more independent.  We had to figure a lot of things out during our reading and learn to successfully annotate, analyze, and find the deeper meaning in novels.  This was a totally new experience, as our teachers usually helped guide us through this process instead of letting us find there answers out ourselves.

J: That seems like a huge change.  How did everyone react to this?

B: Well, like any big adjustment, it was a challenge at first.  There were thousands of panicked talks outside of class about how many pages our SOAPSTones were, how many pens we wore out annotating our books, or freaking out about in-class writings.

J: Yes!  That must be it!  These in-class writings of which you speak, well, I know this sounds crazy, but “‘ just heat me out’” (88).  During any of these writings during AP English 11, was there any sort of, commotion?

B: What do you mean, Junior?

J: “‘There’s something I need to say to you’” (87).  There is a great chance that, when the world ends, this building could remain standing after the comet strikes.  That is, as long as the mass stays in a certain range, only variable by .0002 pounds.  There is also a chance that, during the stress of one of these writings, a student may have had an episode of sorts, lashing out and screaming and, through this tantrum, unlogged a small piece of brick outside the building that would throw this weight off.

B: Well, Junior, I would have assumed a guy as smart as you would have done his research first.  If any mild distraction occurs, like someone tapping there pen or moving their desk too loudly, it is not well received by the fairly intense student population.  There is no way a commotion like this could have occurred.

J: Really?  You’re serious?

B: Completely.

J: Then, the building should stand!  And the humans that hide underground from the comet will have a place to restart society!

B: Glad to help.  Although the voices in your head probably could have filled you in on all of this.

J: Oh…