Personas

While reading The Namesake, I was often critical of Gogol for the way he had distinct personas depending on who he was with- at school, he became Nikhil, a much more outgoing and rebelious version of his alter-ego, Gogol, who was much more traditional and reserved.  This always irritated me- I wanted him to find a happier medium and not change depending on his surroundings.  Over the break, however, I realized that I, however critical I was of Gogol, practice some of these behaviors myself.  As a child, I was much quieter and reserved, even with my family, as my cousins are either much older or younder than me.  As I grew older, I grew more comfortable, and tend to be much more social than I was as a young child.  However, with my family, I tend to slip back into this mold and feel less comfortable with myself.  I need to learn from my criticisms of Gogol- extremes don't work, and acting different ways, even subconciously, with different groups leads to unhappiness.  This novel caused me to be more critical of myself, and I will now strive to be comfortable and myself no matter how those around me know me to be.